Moving is overwhelming. As I’m quickly learning, making an international move puts the phrase overwhelming to shame. Even when it’s to a country you know well, there are small differences – sometimes subtle, sometimes glaringly obvious – that reinforce how much there is to learn.
Here are ten things I’ve learned this week about this crazy process:
- There are good days and bad days. When our first born came home from the hospital, my dad told us on a daily basis “there are good days and there are bad days. As long as the good days outweigh the bad, then you are doing fine.” I have the sense his words of wisdom will be playing a big role in our lives for a while. While most days were exciting and productive, the reality of why we were there set in for each of us at a different time. For all the good that will come from this move, we need to be prepared for the tough homesick days too.
- One step forward, two steps back. Even though we accomplished a lot this week, there is still so much to do. Every school visit, every conversation, every new piece of information answered some questions, but also left us with more new ones than any of us were prepared for.
- You begin to evaluate your new country the moment you walk off the plane. I’ve been to London dozens of times in the last 27 years. I know – and love – the city as well as any I’ve lived in throughout my life. This trip was different. From the moment we landed, I looked at everything around me with a different lense. How do the houses look? What do the towns feel like? Can I see myself living here? How close is the nearest grocery store? Where can I buy a hairdryer? (Literally got laughed at when I asked at a hair salon about that one.) Things I’ve never paid much attention to as a visitor, became the center of focus as we began scoping out a place to live.
- The weather! Maybe it’s because everyone expects the U.K. to rain all the time, but we had the most glorious weather this week. Beautiful spring days with sunnny skies and warm afternoons made it feel as if the English weather gods were putting on their best show to impress us. I don’t care what it was, I’ll take it. Sitting in the outdoor garden of a pub on a Friday afternoon with the warm sun easing away the stress of a busy week is pretty hard to beat.
- The Beautiful Game. When soccer plays as big of a role in a family’s life as it does ours, you think we’ve seen and heard it all. Yeah, not so much. A soccer tryout in the birth country of “football” opened our eyes to a whole new level of intensity to the game and raised a set of questions with decisions to make that we didn’t even know existed. On the flip side, it was a lot of fun to head to the local pub and watch a Premier League match where everyone in the pub actually cares about the game.
- Argos. Ah, what is there to say about this archaic in-store shopping nightmare. Paper catalogs, hand writing product numbers on slips of paper, computer inventory and check out systems that aren’t in sync. Nothing about this experience was customer service friendly. What should have been a five minute shopping trip took 20+ minutes. Thankfully local friends have assured me that it wasn’t just me and Amazon Prime in the U.K. is alive and well for a much more satisfying shopping experience.
- Traffic. I grew up in the Bay Area, so I learned to drive and commute in some of the worst traffic congestion in the United States. However, living in North Carolina for the last 14 years has enabled the heartache of a horrendous commute to become a distant, faded memory. Until now. Living in a metropolitan area with 8.5 million people means traffic is going to be intense. I’m going to very quickly have to readjust my drive time expectations. Thankfully there is an incredible public transport system right at our fingertips.
- Managing Expectations. We heard time and time again this week, make sure you set realistic expectations for yourself and manage your experience to them. Don’t expect to exactly replicate your life in the US to your life in the U.K. Things are different and the more you can embrace those differences the more fulfilling the experience will be. (Note to self: come back to this lesson frequently!)
- Pub life. Truly the cultural and social hub of a village or neighborhood, the pub plays a much different role than bars in the US. Seeing our 15 year old experience this for the first time was a great reminder of how tremendously unique this is in building out a sense of community.
- Having the world at your fingertips. London is one of the most global, diverse cities anywhere in the world. The people, cultures, languages and religions you see walking down the street is a great reminder of how we can all want the same things in life and be together at any moment in time. For those of us who believe in the strength of diversity, it was great to feel at “home” in such a vibrant city.